fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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