I just threw up on my dentist
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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