i don't plan on having that self control this summer
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
