Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
