The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I want to have your abortion
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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