ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
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In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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