i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
