Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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