she smelled like a LAN party
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
