Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
