So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
