i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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