All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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