dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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