You're so nebulous sometimes
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
