Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
