He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
