piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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