I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize