with your own penis?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
