so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
this hospital has no fireball
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
