Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
