so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
