party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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