I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
