We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
