He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
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I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
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Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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