I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
