everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
