The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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