Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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