it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize