One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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