You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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