But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
