It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
