Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
