It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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