Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Sext me about skeletons
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
