He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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