That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
