it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
