working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
We are all done wearing pants today
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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