and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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