I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
