cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
