My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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