i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize