Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
My cat gives me a boner
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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