didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
