We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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