A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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