Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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