i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My penis needs a shock collar
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Randomize
