I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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