The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I will die if light touches me.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
