I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
