Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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