the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
